It seems funny coming back on here after being away for a few years. My last blog on here focused on a relationship that I had with a man that I thought I loved or at least I thought my heart loved. Things have changed somewhat since then, I erased the blog due to two readers who thought I could get done for opening up a can of worms on him and that his identity would be found out. I did not really care about that so much but it was the way the women did it that hurt the most. I have kept that blogs entries locked up inside one of my usb sticks and maybe one day reuse it again but just tweak a little and share it with the world once more. But for now this blog is just about me and my thoughts and if anyone is interested, feel free to come along and join me.
Last year was the last year for my degree. I felt proud of myself knowing that I had finished something which I could look back on in years to come and be confident knowing it did me some good. When I started it, I was at cross roads with my life. It had its fair share of ups and downs and I was really not sure if I was up for it. The man I thought I loved encouraged me to do it and I guess when I started I knew there was no way I was going back. I was going to finish this degree come hell, rain or shine I was going to do it and do it to the best of my ability and in November I reflected back to when I had started remembering that once I had it, I could do anything.
I guess the biggest thing that I was facing was that back in 2010 when I started I was already considered a mature student. I was at crossroads because I had no idea what to study let alone what I wanted to do when I finished. I knew that I loved people, I loved culture and I certainly enjoyed a bit of psychology. I then made the plunge to ring my learning institution and asked to speak to someone about my options and by the end of the call I was convinced that I would study Social Sciences and as an extramural student.
The first year was not so bad, I passed well enough to go into my real first year. I had studied before in the past but nothing had equipped me for writing essays, I was hopeless at it and I know that I am still not the best essay writer. I had all the information, I knew what I wanted to say but it was the word count, the stupid bloody word count that let me down. One for researching I was often going outside the box and finding things that were really great in adding weight to what I was writing but sometimes I found myself writing too much and forgetting what the main points were and scoring just an average and told that it was great reading but it needs to stick to the main points. In time I got there but it wasn't easy. I knew I liked to write, research and seek answers but I took note of that comment each and every time I put pen to paper.
As time went on I gradually started to look at things that were around me. I noticed little things like signs on billboards and advertising on television. I read more about people than I ever did and I started to read things that I never thought I would. I started to watch the news a little less and picking up the paper with a new perspective. I did not become immune to watching the news but I knew that it was depressing and what we saw that night in the headlines was not necessarily the truth. I often seek the truth.
Studying started to really get me energised on mental level. It allowed my brain to focus on bits of information that others would forget about. I remember reading up on little tidbits of information that were yesterdays news to some but to me were as current as ever as I brought them to light when I wrote an essay or submitted a piece of work. In time I came to understand that the news can be anywhere, it could be on my own street from the two neighbours who gossiped about another to the new building that went up in town. I started to find my own news and that was far more interesting than what was on television.
In my second year I then took on a job at one of the local primary schools as an After school supervisor. This job gave me the much needed out I needed from my study each day and at times I dreaded going to work when I knew I had an assignment due. It was fantastic working with the children, I was well liked and a firm favourite with them as I spoke to them not at them when I was in their presence. I found that children were great at soaking up information too and I ended up teaching a few of the things I had be learning while I studied.
By the time year three and four came round I knew that I was on the homeward stretch. I had done so much yet felt at times I had only done so little because I lived alone and did not always have someone there to share what I had been learning. My soft toys must have enjoyed their lessons though!
So now as I write this blog my goal now is to return back to the workforce. To return with a fresh mind with new ideas, new thoughts and information that may help some business grow. Its been a bit tough at times and I have had a few shortlists that I have been on but its hard at times as there are many others out there just doing the same thing. I try to stay focused and not let it get me down. I have also set myself a time frame, a time frame in which if I have not found a suitable position by say the end of March I will head overseas. English Language teaching may seem like a bit of a cliche but I know that it will help me even further towards reaching where I want to go.
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